Free time

I had a great adventure last week that I’ve been meaning to blog about. But I’m in a funk and it was the sort of adventure that deserves to be described when I’m in a better frame of mind. What is it about the week after a vacation? Doesn’t it always suck? I had some discouraging news first thing at work Monday morning that set the tone for the week. Follow that up with a few other personal disappointments (and I am maybe fighting off a cold too) and I’m in a right funk. I’m cranky, impatient and intolerant. I feel overtired and fat. I’m using my favorite Al Swerengen curse way too often (you know, the one that starts with ‘cock’ and ends with ‘sucker’?). Mostly it’s under my breath but sometimes much louder.

When I get in this sort of a mood, nothing is right. Today I was thinking about how I have no time to do all the crafty things I have ideas for. I’m wondering how it was in my 20s I had plenty of money to go out every night and plenty of time to do all sorts of crafty things. Now, in my 30s, I make more money and have no social life, but I never have any money or free time. How did that happen? Is there some strange age vortex that sucks away your money and your free minutes? Did I not eat or buy clothes in my 20s (I know I paid bills and drank a lot of wine….)? Did I require less sleep so there were more hours in the day (I know I worked all the time and kept my house relatively clean. Maybe cleaner than it is now even.)? I read just as many books and watched just as much TV. It’s a mystery.

Because I think a funk is only ok if you can find one thing to focus all that negativity on (It’s not good to go around feeling miserable about EVERYTHING at once), I’ve focused on this issue of free time. I’m not really sure what I do with myself, but there is never time for all the projects I want to do. There are materials and even partially finished crafty things stuffed away all over my house. It’s embarrassing really. If a stranger were to come in and go through my things I wonder what they would think about the giant bag of salvation army sweaters (some felted already) in the basement. Or the large stash of plastic bags – organized by color. I have big plans for those bags. Someday. They came with me last time I moved. I moved bags of plastic bags. There is a large closet (and much of the adjoining spare room) full of yarn. Much of it is partially knit or set aside for certain things that I will probably never get to. I go in the ‘yarn room’ looking for just the right yarn and sometimes I find it, but I can’t use it because it is slated for some project I will never get to or there is too much of it to use on the small thing I want to make now. If I use a small amount there might not be enough later when the right project comes along. And the beads. There are large quantities of beads and wire and stuff tucked away around here somewhere. I’ll probably never use them again. I should ebay all this stuff, but I think – maybe? – I’m a pack rat. I think I can’t get rid of it. I might need it someday. Someday when I have more free time.